Open Courses
Presentation Power - Thurs 4 and Fri 5 March, Green Park, Reading
www.presentation-training.com for details - one place left
Sales Foundation - 4 days over 4 weeks, starts Tue 2 March, Reading
www.salessense.co.uk for details
If you can’t make these dates, please get in touch for details of other dates and locations.
Seminar
"What Do People Think of You?"
Everyone has people they find a little challenging to work with. Why is this the case - is it them or is it you? Find out how to turn them into opportunities.
Tues 16 March, 11.15
CMEurope, London W1
Weds 31 March, 19.45
The Windmill, Ewshot, Hants
Raising money for BLESMA, The British Limbless Ex Servicemen Association. The seminar lasts 40 minutes - how about putting one on as a company or client event? No charge for Jim, instead raise funds for BLESMA or the charity of your choice.
Recommended Reading
Just Get On With It by Ali Campbell
Described as "a caring, compassionate kick up the ass!"
If you've got a question or some feedback I'd love to hear from you.
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The honesty of a 13.5 year old lad reminds me of the implications of using the word but in our communications. If you’re guilty of using the word but, are you using it in a good way?
Enjoyable reading.
Jim Wigg
Facilitator and (Sales) Coach
Yes, m’lud
Last week was half-term in Hampshire and often with that goes the dilemma of who to and how to amuse the kids. Personally I’m child-free and unaffected (some could say smug) by the traumas of entertaining off-spring in school holidays but my friend Andy was in this situation.
After a bit of pondering and research Andy came up with the idea of taking his son Dan, aged 13.5, up to London for a tour of the Old Bailey and then to watch the 3D version of Avatar. The Old Bailey tour started with a talk about its historical background and then entry into the public viewing galleries to watch the cases in session. After having spoken to someone at The Old Bailey who said there were some really juicy cases on, Andy was convinced Dan would love it.
Dan is a great kid – he's bright, sharp, very talkative (unlike a lot of teenagers) and, unfortunately for his parents, has mastered the art of sarcasm (like a lot of teenagers). Andy thought Dan would love the tour, particularly any grisly or juicy bits.
On arrival at the back door of The Old Bailey, which is where you queue for entry to the public galleries, an official asked the age of Dan. Andy had conveniently 'forgotten' there was a minimum age limit of 14 and also hadn't bothered mentioning it to Dan. Dan kept quiet while his father declared he was 14. The unconvinced official asked for proof of age. Things then became unstuck as Andy hadn't got any form of ID for Dan. They had to admit defeat, they weren't going to be allowed in. However, said official suggested they could try their luck at the front desk. Round the building they rushed to the front desk at which point Dan then ironically announced: "Dad, I'm not comfortable about lying to get in the Old Bailey!"
So what's this got to do with the word but? Well, it’s all about honesty. Sometimes, just by using but we communicate dishonestly without realising it. And if someone thinks you are lying why would they want to listen to you?
For those of you know me well, you'll know but has been my hobby-horse for a long while. The reason for this is because people drop it into conversations without being aware of the implications.
Bad But
A bad and common example of using but is the "I agree with you, but...". Which doesn't communicate "you agree" at all, it says the exact opposite.
You may think saying "I agree with you, but..." is a cushion or softer way of saying "I disagree", when really it could be viewed as antagonistic or a slap in the face. And, that may be the face of your client, your boss or your teenager!
No But
Instead, try saying "I don't agree with you" (you can say it gently) and then pausing. This is honest communication as it's what you really mean. I'd lay any money the other person will respond with "why not?" and then they've given you an opportunity to explain your position and are fully listening because they believe you mean what you say.
Finally, a Bonus But
Nothing to do with honesty just a great coaching tip to keep people headed in the direction they want to go. It works precisely because the word but tends to dismiss what was said before it. All you do is make sure you put what you want to dismiss before the but and what you want to remember after it. Here’s an example from someone I coached recently.
Was pretty shattered after dinner, had a little doze on the sofa and where normally I would have said to myself: "I really want to get back to Jim, but I'm just too tired" instead I said "I'm tired, but I really want to get back to Jim tonight". Guess what - he got back to me that night.
...and now for something completely different
Request for help: Does anyone know of a tandem bike I could beg, borrow or steal so that I can go cycling with a blind chap?
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